| Location | Mesquite |
| Age | 9 months |
| Cause of Death | Cot Death/Sudden Infant Death Syndrome |
| Date of Birth | 12/12/2008 |
| Date of Death | 23/09/2009 |
| Visitors | 2,112 since 02/10/2009 |
| Creator |
Without loss, we are impervious to pain. We flow with the natural order of life. We do not know the threats and pain that will be inflicted upon us. We are LOST. Without doubt, fear and love we would remain numb. For the time I have spent on this world, I have felt the most pain I can endure. I have no words of comfort and no sense of the inevitable. I walk without my heart because it was taken from me far too soon. I can't stop the tears and the tears can't stop me. I try and try to explain to myself that it's not my fault but I can't help but blame myself. I wish I could Kill the killer and stop the torture. I wish I had one more day to spend with you. I wish I wasn't here to write these words of sorrow as they spill onto the screen. This feeling of despair envelopes me and consumes my mind. "I'm Lost On A Road" that I never wanted to travel in the first place. I can't stand the pain. My Son; Travis "Gauge" Lackey Died on September 23, 2009 at 9 months old; and I don't know who to turn to. Where was I when he stopped breathing. He laid in his bed and fell fast asleep. My wife changed his diaper early that morning, and he was gone by Afternoon. So damn healthy and so damn young. I miss my son and I can do nothing to get him back. His Brothers ask where he is and I have no answer. I don't know what is happening to me. I'm losing my mind every day. More and more my life crumbles and is faulting on a breaking point. I wish I could see him one more time and spent one more day with him. I wish I could tell him that everything will be alright. I just want him to know I LOVE HIM. To say the words once more and to hear his laugh one last time. I can't live without his beautiful face and I'm terrified of what will happen to me. I'm falling off the edge and I feel like there is no return. All I want is my baby boy back. MY LIL "12 Gauge". Born 12/12/08. Passed 09/23/09. I love you son and I'll be with you soon. Keep my spot warm for me, and I'll see you again. I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND TOMORROW.
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.\*•. .•*/.ღ*..*..αηgєℓ..*..*ღ
./.•*.*•.\...•ღ***ღ•.*.•ღ***ღ•.
*.. ..*....*
...ѕтαιяωαу тσ нєανєη
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The stairway up to Heaven
Is made of Angels love
And when we make the journey
Our Angels shower us with love
*''''''*''''''*''''''*''''''*''''''*
For each step on the stairway
Theres a beautiful memory
That will lead us to our Angels
Together forever we will be
*''''''*''''''*''''''*''''''*''''''*
All the sparkling bright stars
That light up Heavens sky
Theyre made of single teardrops
For our Angels we still cry
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The Golden Gates will open
All our love will then unfold
Reunited with our Angels
Always x forever we will hold
copyright Vicky Deaville 4/11/2010
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Happy Be-Lated Birthday
On December 12th you would have been 2. I wish I could have seen you grow. Take those first steps and play with your brothers. They still ask about you. It's still not easy for me to try and explain it to them. But we will never forget you. And mommy and daddy will always talk about you to your brothers. We all love and miss you very much. Happy Birthday Baby Boy. I love you!
So... Its been a while since yesterday. There are many ways for me to smile and not mean what I say. This is one of the worst things for me to deal with today, And tomorrow, I fear will be the same.
I Love You Travis and I think about you all the time. I miss you.
-Daddy
A BirthdayIn Heaven by Kris Smith
I heard you crying yesterday,
And felt your heart-sent love.
So I’m sending you this message
Now, from Heaven up above.
You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My Birthday (way up here).
I know you’re missing me today
I feel your essence near.
God planned a special day for me,
He told me with a wink.
He’d ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think).
Balloons will fill the streets for me,
They float up through the clouds.
And we have lots of friends up here
That make us laugh out loud.
There is a Birthday carousel,
Jewelled horses ride the wind,
With music playing, oh so sweet…
The magic never ends.
I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing.
We ride our bikes and play the fool
And sleep in Angel’s wings.
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies.
With love from your little Angel xx
Thinking of you always
Thinking of your beautiful smile so I thought I'd write on here because somehow it helps. You will be 1 on saturday. Would have loved to see that big smile on your birthday. I cant believe it's been a whole year since you came into this world. And you've only been gone less than 3 months. It's hard. Trying to deal with the loss. I know you are close just wish I could hold you. I love you Gauge.
First B-Day 12-12-09
Its going to be your first birthday in a few days. I cant imagine how big you would have been. I still miss the hell out of you and I dont know how Im going to deal with it; or Christmas. This sucks... I really wish I could see you and the man you are growing up to be. I bet you will have a big party way upstairs. I hope you will have a good time, Ive never been too big on birthdays but I know yours will go great. I Love you son and I want to be with you so bad. I miss you; Forever and Tomorrow...
For My Baby Boy
I love you boy and you will always be mommys lil boy. Keep watch over your brothers. You know they are going to need all the hel they can get to stay out of trouble. It's hard not having you here.. It doesnt get easier as days go by like people said it would. it just gets easier to pretend like everything is okay. We all miss you so much and wish you were still here with us. Please watch over everyone. We are gonna have a rough time these next few months. I LOVE YOU BABY GAUGE.
Happy Halloween
Gauge; Today was your first Halloween, I hope you had a good time and I hope you know we were thinking of you. We were going to paint your box as a set of dice and take you with us, but we left you with Grandmama to pass out candy. I Love you son and Keep us in your heart...Forever and Tomorrow...Your Daddy
Unanswered questions
How do we go on? I have no answer to that question. My sister lost her 8 yr old son just over a month ago. She is struggeling just as you are. I dont know how to comfort her. I dont know how to comfort myself. I do find some peace when I see puffy white clouds in the sky. It's like when your in an airplane and below you is a floor of clouds. I can only imagine thats what it looks like for our angels when they are flying around in heaven and look down. I can only hope that each day it gets a little better, that each day we cry a little less and smile a little more, that each day we hold on to our memories. Our lives are different now and we will just have to find a way each day to live through this because God still has us here on earth for a reason, so we need to find that reason. Your family is in my thoughts.
Daddy, please don't look so sad,
Mama please don't cry~
"Cause I am in the arms of Jesus
and He sings me lullabies."
Please, try not to question God,
Don't think he is unkind
Don't think He sent me to you,
and then He changed his mind.
You see, I am a special child,
and I'm needed up above
I'm the special gift you gave Him,
the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you
and watch the sky at night,
Find the brightest star that's gleaming,
That's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost,
that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers,
I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze,
from a gentle wind that blows
That's me, I'll be there,
planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing,
and your heart feels a little tug,
That's me, I'll be there,
giving your heart a hug.
So Daddy, please don't look so sad,
Mama don't you cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus
and He sings me lullabies.
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There have been 116 candles lit for Travis.
